Coping with divorce can be difficult. You may be finding it hard to make make the decision to separate? You may be losing sleep worrying about how your children will cope with your divorce or whether you will be left with anything after your assets are divided? You’re not alone.
The thought of a separation or divorce can trigger a range of emotions. It is very natural to experience fear or anxiety about the financial, living and social changes that will occur once your relationship has ended. Don’t despair. Our tips below will help you manage your emotions and identify what you need to do to move forward with your life in the best possible way.
Coping with Divorce – Yes it is possible
Tip 1 – Recognise that you may need time to grieve the loss of the relationship
Don’t try and be a superhero and ignore your feelings. Grief is a natural human reaction to loss. Talking about how you feel with a trusted friend, family member, trained professional or support group can help. Be aware however that some well-meaning friends are not the best listeners and may offer advice that is based on their situation or experiences which may be very different to your own. Seeing a counsellor or psychologist is not a sign of weakness nor does it mean you’re losing your sanity. Get help if you need it.
Tip 2 – Prioritise
When you first separate things may seem a little overwhelming. Make a list of what you need to do breaking each item down into small achievable tasks. You may need to consider where you will live for the immediate future, how you will support yourself and what bills need to be paid. If you have children you will need to consider where the children will live and when they will see each parent. Once the most urgent or basic requirements are taken care of, you can start to consider longer term arrangements such as doing a property settlement or applying for a divorce. Remember to prioritise time for yourself and your own well-being.
Tip 3 – Identify what is important to you
This may seem obvious but when emotions are high its easy to get side tracked or lose focus on what your primary concerns are. It helps to make a list of what is important to you. These may include:
• Making sure the kids routines/lives are interrupted as little as possible;
• Ensuring you have the capacity to meet financial commitments;
• Ensuring you spend time with your children but can still earn a living;
• Keeping the house;
• Getting new accommodation suitable to spending time with your children; or
• Reducing conflict or stress in your relationship with your ex-partner.
As you can see, what is important to each person can vary remarkably. Having a written list that you can refer back to, helps you focus on what is important to you when making decisions. It will also help you be able to communicate better with your legal advisor so you can both work towards achieving your desired result.
Tip 4 – Get legal advice
Whilst friends and the internet may offer a range of information, bear in mind this is not specific to your needs and situation. Each person’s situation is unique and a good lawyer will be able to give you advice specific to your particular situation.
The end of a relationship can be difficult. It is common for emotions to be high and for things to seem overwhelming. Separation or divorce however doesn’t have to cost you your emotional well-being. It can also be the start of a brighter and more positive future; the first step in your new life.
We can give you the information you need to make the best decisions for your family. Not only will you find yourself coping with your divorce, we will start you on the path to your new life. All you need to do is to take the first step.
Don’t suffer unnecessarily. Contact us today. We look forward to hearing from you.